Idiot

I know. I know how I feel and think is non of your concern. Surely you can bypass my feelings before you come out with any decision. After all, what can I do?
Sometimes I puzzled over the path I chose. I wonder what gave me courage to study law. I never once successfully convinced people with my thoughts. I came across some random article about personal qualities needed to become a lawyer some  day. I tried my best to persuade myself that I fulfilled at least one of them. Unfortunately,it didn't work as I know I must be honest to myself.
I don't like to argue. That's why I rather remain silent and act like i have been convinced by you. I was once so naked in front of you, at least until you unleashed your true character to me. I just feel so stupid right now. I seriously hate myself for being such a coward. I don't even dare to voice out my dissatisfaction in front of you, and yet I proclaim myself as a law student. Perhaps I'm just an idiot,and yes, i hate myself very much right now.