Blessed.

I will remember that smile. 

He walked in with his cap on, and throughout the whole night, he only ordered a pint of lager. When I went to his table and asked him whether he need anything else, he said, ' sweetie, do you think I am weird?' 

I was dumbfounded at first, and speechless for one second. No. Of course not. I brushed him off with this quick  answer and repeated my question. In fact, that's the only presentable response that came across my mind for that second. 

'No. Bill please. 'He said. 

Before he left, he gave me an angelic smile and among all the words that he has spoken to me, the only thing that I managed to pick up is 'sweetie, it's good to be alive.' (Yea, I am still not quite used to their native english) 

And there, I replied him with the most typical response when you are not quite sure what the other was talking about, - 'ya, ya.' I answered, smiled, and greeted him goodbye.

I have totally forgotten about this incident, until one of my uncles mentioned about this man once again. And only from there I am able to comprehend his behavior that night. He is a regular customer, but that night was far too busy for the others to serve him. He must be disappointed that night. 

He was a cancer patient. No wander he keep his cap on all the time.

His purpose of coming over is not because of the food, but to spend quality time with those who will listen to him, with those who are willing to give him an opportunity to share his story. 

He must be downhearted by the slow-witted me that night. 'Idiot!' I bellowed to myself. 

He is right. I began to realize. His words really do ring a bell for me. It's good to be alive. Indeed, we are gifted with blessing everyday for just being alive. Life will never stop giving us tricky and handful of tasks to complete everyday. In life, we gain, and too we loss. Sometimes, we are demotivated by our failures. Sometimes, we are lost. Sometimes, We don't know who we are, and to have an uncertain future is devastating. Sometimes, we compare. We moaned over our encounter which we considered as unfortunate. Sometimes, we wondered ' why must it be me?' When we are at this stages of life, we often neglected that simply being alive is itself a gifted blessing. To cancer patients, time is merciless. Every single day alive is a bonus to them. In fact, time is fair. At least, for me, it is. Time is in fact the fairest thing on earth, but howmany of us will take every single day alive as a bonus to us? Live as if you will die tomorrow. Indeed. This phrase is often quoted by the people but how many of us really have put this into action? Reflection. I am telling myself. Reflection. Am I a better person from last year already? 

Life is unpredictable. People come and go, but every single person exist in your life for a reason. Find that reason. 

Thanks. :) I will remember your angelic smile. 

能活着真好。